Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
this boner is exhausting
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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