His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
