and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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