great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
