ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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