Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
