you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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