Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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