can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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