I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
