oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
