I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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