i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
