Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Its about making memories worth repressing
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize