a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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