Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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