My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
