Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
