Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
