I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
