That's intense
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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