You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
