I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
