I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
