You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
