I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
