He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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