this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
