There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I deserve this hangover.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
