hell yes lets make some ravioli
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
