Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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