brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
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