Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
