I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
