my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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