i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
