Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
