I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
