We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
