Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
