Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
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