Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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