Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I love you. Go after that dick
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize