she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
