Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize