Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
