So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
