The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
