Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
