we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
