Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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