uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
