so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
