...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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