Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He uses pillows to masturbate.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We have started to decorate penises.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
