Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
