dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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