it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Randomize
