i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Someone signed my nipple.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
