i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
