Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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