Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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