im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
