Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
