i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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